As I sit here at work, I realize I am unfulfilled. The one thing that would bring me happiness, I can't even bring myself to do is my crafting. I very much love to craft, and when I finally get off work, I'm mentally tired, and throwing myself into a craft session doesn't even come into play in my life these days. I have spent the past two years working my ass off to pay off all my bills. I have successfully paid off everything: the house, the car, the credit cards, our property, and I sit here because until our newest vehicle is paid off and we get the loan for the latest build on our property, I feel stuck and stagnant. My plan is to renew my notary license, background check, and insurance so I can hopefully get back into doing signings and work for myself (well, sort of), but I would be traveling all over the state, taking only the jobs I want to take. I could get back into secret shopping and pick up a part-time job somewhere to earn a steady income. But all depends on the monthly payment of this new home we intend to build. In two more months, I will know what that payment will be, and then I can make some decisions. I hope to make some changes in my life that help me feel like my old self again.
The weight loss is finally a thing of the past for me. I am at a healthy weight for me, I am below 200 lbs, and I feel pretty good aside from the arthritis in my neck, which I finally broke down and am seeing a Physical Therapist for, which has been painful as hell, but hopefully that will ease with time. I did have a 80 minute massage this past week and that about killed me I was hurting for about three days I finally am no longer hurting from that. Is it worth it?
The daughter was talking to me for a few weeks recently, and I cosigned a loan for her, and since she got the loan, crickets. I am sad but not at all surprised she really only contacts me for money or to let me know how awful a mom I am to her. I love her, but she needs to learn to deal with her emotions. I cannot help her, and she doesn't want my help. Anyway, she has a great job with the hospital and sounds like she has a good guy she is dating, so I am happy for her and proud of her, even if she thinks I am not.
Our son had a baby, and he is the cutest, sweetest little guy, and we are over the moon in love with him. They have a cute family, and they are doing pretty well for themselves. They both have good jobs and have even spoken about maybe having another child down the line. They are doing well at parenting. Even though he was a preemie, he seems to be advancing as a typical baby would.
That's about all for now. I realized today it's been a year since I wrote anything here. We have been busy traveling and trying to enjoy life as much as possible. I hosted Thanksgiving this year, and we had 16 people over. It was so much fun. I love my family. Since losing dad, we have gotten closer, and I am here for it. My dad passed away in February 2025. It feels like it was just yesterday. Grief is weird like that. I miss him!
